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Thursday, March 25, 2010

messy life

feel so tired.
i am not sure why i am so tired.
all i know i am tired with surrounding.
just feel like i wanna take a big breathe and exhale it out.
but i know it is not that simple.
why?
why am i feel like that?
can i just stop everything a while?
i could though.
i told myself i can.
but something pulling me not to.
i don't wanna stop myself.
as i know everything happened can make me better man.
i feel like i wanna go for travel.
my friend told me she went for taiwan for backpacking.
rn5000 per person for two weeks.
at that moment, my heart are attracted to it.
i felt like i wanna go.
don't wanna think bout anything.
but back to reality, i don't have the cash.
i wanna go somewhere beach.
i wanna let it everything out.
sigh~

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

ZzZ

really don't like the feeling of being alone.
but tonight might have to tolerate it again.
will facing with four walls.
only me and the walls in the house.
suddenly thought of a song name unwell.
it goes with "all day staring the ceiling,making friends with my shadows on my wall".
crazy jor me... LOL
don't want to think.
head for lunch.
very hungry.
did not eat for dinner, breakfast.
LOLx
p/s 3.33pm now

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

dreams are so nice to dream about.
so nice, the feeling is like being in cloud nine.
but when you woke up, you will back to the reality.
the cruelness, heartless, evil world that want to make your heart to bleed.
it is not whether you wanted it, but it is the world who want it.
you do not have the power to choose nor to hide.
all you can do is just accept it.
you asked to be abandon when you had the courage to do so, but the world seems like wanna play with you.
trying to hold on with you.
by asking them to abandon you, you needed a quite courage to do so.
coz deep down in your heart, you don't want they to abandon you.
but you know that it has to be like that.
coz the world really can't let you to have it.
what is that mean to you?
pain?
hurt?
care?
stupid?
foolish?
naive?
or grateful?
you never really will know what their intention.
or do you know?
just that you do not wanted to accept the truth?
maybe you should be grateful because they gave you the moments that you will not able to search in the rest your life.
but should you?
is that really so?
maybe.
no one can answer that.
you can't, me can't, and others certainly can't too.
think bout the other person's perception.
maybe you can find another relieve and you might not take it as hard as that.
but i guess we can't.
coz the we are too in pain.
our pain blind us.
sorry to say that but it is true.
what we can do bout it?
pretend to be nothing happen?
can we?
things happened and when they happened, you can't really take it as nothing happened.
coz there is a needle in your heart.
you wished to have someone now to hug you?
but there is no one will be there.
hurt?
get used too it.
life is like that.
there is a theory said that we born to be alone, we lived alone, and we die as lone wolf.
can we accept that fact?
i can't.
honestly, i can't.
i wish to have you now.
miss you.

Monday, March 15, 2010

simple thought

feeling of being abandon?
feeling of being alone?
some people told me that being alone is good.
but to me, is it that really great?
nope!