do you know why i think negative

lately, you acted strangely
you don't let me know anything bout you
you don't let me touch your iphone
you don't let me see your facebook
no longer have the luxury of hugging you
and you really don't mind not seeing me anymore

am i really that sticky?
if you feel i am not good
you can just let me know
we can break

i ask you yesterday that question
and you said because i kept think negatively
i push you away

i guess everything is because of me
i guess i am not a good lover

i try my best to love you
to be with you
but i think
what i do is a mistake

i did ask myself
when i court you at that time
is it my fault?
is it my fault to fall in love with you

i really want someone to love me
to be with me


i guess is me
the problem is with me

everyone doesn't like me
is ok
even my own family doesn't love me
is ok
i told myself i don't mind
as long i still have you
but i guess i giving you too much pressure

i told myself is ok that if we break up
but i guess i am not ok at all

i scare my you leave me just like
i know you told me to let go the past
but it is not easy
for me
to see someone leaves because of another person
it hurts

but i rather you tell me you got someone else than cheating me behind
this is what i feel

i afraid of myself
i don't know what am i trying to do
i keep on thinking negatively
i know i push you away
i don't blame you
i just blame myself

i cried
i cried for an hour
i keep on thinking of the memories we has
i just too miss you
i scare you will leave me

i made up my mind
i decide to do something bout it
for you and me
hopefully i won't regret it

this movie makes me think back my secondary school life

a lot things that happened in that time

happy moments

crazy moments

sad moments

i treasure all those moments

in this movie

it portrays 遗憾 

i don't want my life to have regret

i want to love all people around me

in this movie

the actress did said something like this:

love is the best when we are still not together but we are in love with each other, once, we are coupled, we no longer feel the same enthusiasm to be with each other.

if possible
i want to write again our story in a different way
but i guess
we can't really change what we had done
i guess human really live with regrets
i know this would be one of my greatest regret
but i still need to do so

been thinking lately

what i should do and shouldn't do

what i think is good for me and what is not

i know it is not easy

i know i need a lot of courage to do so

but everything can be sort out eventually

i just got to make the first step

from friend to lover to enemy
from shy to happy to sad and suffer
the breakup part is the most painful
but once the sadness is gone
we will be better
how long for us to take to heal?
that's depend on how much do you love him/her

don't hate him/her for leaving you

treasure him/her

just because he/she leaves you

doesn't mean all the memories you had with him/her are fake

good or bad

he/she is part of your life

treasure the memories you had with him/her

maybe from there

you can find a closure for yourself

and in the future

you can love someone better and treasure that person.

it is funny to see certain people get intimidate by me
they try to boycott me
laugh die me
i just wanna say
do whatever it makes u happy
i am ok with it
i don't mind any more
because i am sure someone will stand on my side