19/4/2011

at this hour

i should get some sleep

i need to wake up at 8am later today

but i can't sleep

my heart is missing you

my brain is full of your images

i am looking at the pictures we took

all the perfect pictures

all the sweet memories

i know you're sleeping soundly

and i am happy that you are sleep well

i can't really wait to see you again

i miss you

and i am trying my very best not to let my negative thinking to influence me

i wanted to achieve this time

i don't want just talk

i want my action to be acted

you always treat me good no matter how bad i did

this time

i will

i will make it different

18/4/2011

why i feel that u are not happy?

i know i did wrong

i know promises that i had made had not been fulfil

i know i always hurt u

saying things that shouldn't even think bout it

i know u are good

i know u treat me better than anyone else

but why?

why would i always think bout negative things about us?

bout our relationship?

is it i am not good to be your lover?

i used to think that our love will be forever

i will never leave u

nor u will leave me

(though u did not leave me yet)

but i feel like i might lose u

i am scare with this feeling

i scare of losing u

why?

i did asked myself

and the answer

I LOVE YOU

i realized how much u meant to me

how much we spent our time together

where we had been, what we did, what we had ate, what we had watched

every time before i sleep

i think bout all the memories that we had

even though

we had a lot of arguments

but we have our good and sweet memories too

what i want

i just want u

what u want or where u want to go

u just let me know

i will let u free like a bird

i love you

LJMU

LJMU

i had a discussion with my dad on this

he said he might able to support me to go for LJMU

i really want to have "double degree"

RM30000

T^T

怕安静

i am scare of losing you.

i am scare you don't want me.

i love you.

i know you know that i love you and i know you love me too.

but

all the words that you told me

"future, no one knows", "maybe something might change", "don't think bout the future"

all these make me scare.

i don't want to lose you.

i am used to being with you.

i scare you might not want me anymore.

all my weaknesses.

i scare you might look for a better one.

coz a lot more better people compare to me out there.

i don't think i am good.

and to me you are good.

i do believe that a lot people will like you because you are good.

i save all the SMS that you sent to me.

it always make me feel touch.

especially those SMS you said you love me.

these few weeks, we had fights.

i always hate myself for fighting with you on silly matters.

i know you won't do things that can hurt me.

i do believe you won't.

but sometimes, my brain just keep play the trick on me.

always distorting my thinking.

and i am sorry for that.

apologise is not something new to you nor to me.

i always apologise because all the stupid mistakes i did.

i know i am kinda annoying.

but i never want to stop telling you that i love you.

coz i don't want waste one minute of not telling you how much i love you.

actually i scare that you will leave me one day.

i know that will come.

i am wishing it won't comes.

T^T