untitled~

why?

i trust u, why my mind think bout the other way?

if i don't think, i won't hurt u and me

but why?

why could i ever ever do that?
i really do love you
every time think bout those arguments,
feel pain
feel angry to myself
why would i wanna be like that
i really do love u
i really never mean to hurt u
"my heart is stolen by u"
u said this to me
i felt so happy every times i heard it
i will jia you to not let myself to be hurting u again
sorry

hunger!

i am hungry!

LOL

i being hungry since 8pm

but i really do not wanna go for dinner alone

really hate the feeling eating dinner alone

at 11pm

i wrote that i am hungry in Facebook

now is about to 12 am

yet i am still here writing blog

someone suggest me that i can do another famine

LOL

but i don't want

coz i am really hungry now

i guess i wanna reward myself

i wanna go eat McD

order sundae ice cream

eat apple pie

with a fillet o fish burger

plus with a nice chill coke

while suffocate myself with french fries.

LOL

think about it

i am like trying to kill myself

haha

but i don't care

i am super duper hungry now

XD

p/s: i don't care bout fat for tonight.... XD

30 hour famine

30 hour famine

hmm

at first i was nervous

i mean well who does not nervous

this is my first time joining and i choose to be a group leader.

as the day approached to the camp

i was getting nervous

i never thought i will be hoping the day will not come

anyway the day still came

LOL

i remember the night before the camp, i went to watch inception at sunway pyramid with mystery person. LOL

anyway, back to the famine

i woke up at 5.15am to get ready for the camp

waited for jie ying to pick me up since there will be no way for me to go to HELP so damn early

we reached to HELP at 6.30am and i thought wah so scare le me suddenly... LOL

and it's get worst

my stupid freaking idiot bag's zip spoiled

it's freaked me out

so bad luck huh~

LOL

but at the end, i bought the stupid jarum to lock my bag...

during the famine camp, i learned a lot things and i befriend with a lot of friends.

actually during the whole camp

i was not hungry at all

and i wasn't drink a lot of water.

but i started to feel hungry is when during the bukit jalil whereby the volunteers had started to give us the bread and soy drink.

for the first time, i can say that vsoy and rm0.70 bread taste so nice... LOL

in bukit jalil, i saw nicholas zhang, fish leong, z-chen, and others

wah so damn happy

 after the whole 30 hour famine

now, everyone are making friends with each other and spamming at each other in facebook

it's feel so whole (if u know what i mean)

haha

i will join again next year ^^v

21st presents

it's been a while i did not post anything to my blog

actually there are a lot things i would like to share

just do not know where to start on.

i guess i start with my birthday celebration ^^

this year birthday~

hmmm

nothing special i guess

as usual

bee teen will try to surprise me with a surprise birthday cake but this year she unsuccessful to do so since i was a bit in hurry

anyway

she did her great job.

present

oh yea, i do received a lot of presents from my friends and family and someone special.

haha

presents list:

1. a shirt

2. a photo

3. photo with home made frame

4. perfume

5. key

6. sushi

7. italy food, sushi, and white gold key

8. cakes (cheese cake, tiramisu cake, and cashew cake)

9. thailand foods

10. ice cream and hagan daazs ice cream

11. angpau from sister and daddy

12. daddy gave me the watch but it was last year... LOL

the most memorable present is the white gold key from someone

haha

anyway

i treasure the white gold key is not because of the value

yet it is because it is from u

and the time i spend with u makes everything to be more memorable.

3/10/2009

i know i always think on negative things

i am really sorry

i try to change myself

i really love u

u give me a lot a lot of good memories

the most scary thing that i always think of is that u will leave

leave becoz i am nothing good

T^T

i don't wanna lose u

what is this feeling?

why so sad when i think of u will leave me?

why it can hurt me?

why it can cut my hurt like a knife cut on my hand while splashing lemon or salt into the wound?

u always appear in my brain

am i going crazy?

why i can see everything is bout u?

why i always think of u?

why i really care bout everything that u do or u say?

why should i really be jealous of people around u?

what i really should do?

i am going crazy

T^T

i

who am i?

who really need security feeling.

i need someone who can love me.

i mean by action and by feeling, that person must able to show it.

i know i am greedy.

i know i am selfish.

i know am childish.

i also know that i am demanding.

u did a wonderful job.

i know it is not easy for u.

there are a lot problems with me.

1. i am fear of separation.

2. i am demanding.

3. i have bipolar, can be happy now and next thing i can be unhappy.

4. i am really really really think a lot of negative things and this really affect others.

5. i don't listen to u.

6. i love to to be with u, never enough for me to see u, hear u, and touch u.

7. i do not know how to care for u.

8. maybe i am having trust issue.

9. last but not least, i always hurt u which i am regretting to do it.

U

u

u know who am i referring to.

only u is all i ever wanted.

there are a lot of memories with u.

u gave the new meaning to my life.

ur kindness, patience, caring, love, trust and a lot more.

if can, i really wish to pick the star from the sky just for u.

i am nothing.

nothing good on me yet u still love me.

thanks