3/10/2009

i know i always think on negative things

i am really sorry

i try to change myself

i really love u

u give me a lot a lot of good memories

the most scary thing that i always think of is that u will leave

leave becoz i am nothing good

T^T

i don't wanna lose u

what is this feeling?

why so sad when i think of u will leave me?

why it can hurt me?

why it can cut my hurt like a knife cut on my hand while splashing lemon or salt into the wound?

u always appear in my brain

am i going crazy?

why i can see everything is bout u?

why i always think of u?

why i really care bout everything that u do or u say?

why should i really be jealous of people around u?

what i really should do?

i am going crazy

T^T

i

who am i?

who really need security feeling.

i need someone who can love me.

i mean by action and by feeling, that person must able to show it.

i know i am greedy.

i know i am selfish.

i know am childish.

i also know that i am demanding.

u did a wonderful job.

i know it is not easy for u.

there are a lot problems with me.

1. i am fear of separation.

2. i am demanding.

3. i have bipolar, can be happy now and next thing i can be unhappy.

4. i am really really really think a lot of negative things and this really affect others.

5. i don't listen to u.

6. i love to to be with u, never enough for me to see u, hear u, and touch u.

7. i do not know how to care for u.

8. maybe i am having trust issue.

9. last but not least, i always hurt u which i am regretting to do it.

U

u

u know who am i referring to.

only u is all i ever wanted.

there are a lot of memories with u.

u gave the new meaning to my life.

ur kindness, patience, caring, love, trust and a lot more.

if can, i really wish to pick the star from the sky just for u.

i am nothing.

nothing good on me yet u still love me.

thanks

angel

when i am small

i wish to have an angel to protect me

right now

i found my angel

i realised how important u can be to me

without u

life could be so pointless

in my mind

u are the one to me

arguments, fights

all these almost break us

yet

u and i tried our best to hold it

and we always get through it

i do not want fights, arguments

it is my thought

it is automatic to think that way

i tried to ignore it

i tried to focus other things when i am thinking bout it

for the first few times

it works

i just got to make it work again

i am trying

now

i am free from those

as i am understand u more

while u also understand me more 

there might be times that we will argue

but it just a process

i guess we can look at it and say well without it, we are kinda boring

thanks

for being there to support me and giving me the times to change

T_T

sorry~

i never meant to act that way

i promised that i won't do, yet i done it

i know my words can't be trusted anymore

i already doing my best

why i am still like that?

i try not to think negatively

i tried~

T_T

i tried to hold my tears

why the tears flow by itself?

i don't want to cry

why?

why am i crying?

all because i failed my promises

my words can't be trusted

i can't blame u

coz i made it

i i i

i just want everything to be the old times.

T_T

catching thumb

whoever can thought that a simple game could be that fun?

simple game but sweet memory.

catching thumb is a childhood game.

it is not something that grand but it is something that could make u think of ur favourite person to play with.

all these while i am really a stupid person for not being appreciate u.

in the car, while playing catching thumb

it felt great.

i understand it now.

a relationship should have qualitative times instead of quantitative times.

i will slowly be matured.

wait for me.

i will not be ignorance anymore.

i won't make myself to do regrettable decisions or behaviours.

won't not try to hurt u.

hurting u is the last thing that i wanna do.

cheers~

new experience on photo shooting~ 5/6/2010

5th June 2010

this date marks for the first time

i went for photo shooting.

place: taman bukit jalil.

the place is such a beautiful place.

got turtles, oh my god...

different sizes.

thanks albert (the photographer) for taking photos.

this session taught me a lot things.

i realized i am not that good in posing in front of camera.

as the albert helped me to take photos

my arms, legs, body pose, even my face expressions looked silly to me.

LOL

there is another silly thing that i done.

i thought this session is involve with salary (luckily it didn't)

i told everyone that it is from the modeling agency.

actually is not.

sorry guys for my mistake.

LOL

however

this albert guy is from this so call 1news forum.

and he helped me took the photos is for me to upload to that forum for a contest (i think so).

i will ask him more details.

LOL

albert told me that he will send me all the photos that he took

and i have to select top 15 photos.

let him know so that i am not sure for what.

LOL

anyway

the photos i will upload later.

coz i haven't receive the photos yet.

i think i won't upload at here coz i will upload on facebook.

rf rf

p/s: don't laugh when viewing my photos, early warning to u guys...

: D

kenny is signing off.

ciaozZz~