sorry

first time

u wrote a long sms to me

first time

u used a very high pitch tone

i guess

i cross the border

i am sorry

i know i am idiot

i know i always hurt u

i know i am bad

sorry

T^T

i just wanted u to love me

love me by telling me

love me by caring me

i know i am bad bad bad

i don't let u go out

if u wanted to go out, u have to ask permission

i am sorry that u been locked up in a cage

i am confuse with myself

i want u to go out but i am jealous especially when someone betters than me talk to u

am i not confident with myself, u, or our love?

am i not trusting u?

am i not ur ideal couple?

i am afraid of losing u

the past really affect me

i am scare that u will be taken by someone else

u told me that if one day, we break up, it is not because of someone else, it is because of me

why?

why i keep think negatively??????????

i really hate that application

sorry

i know i shouldn't block u

i just hate it

i hate the feeling of being insecure

u are good

too good till sometimes, i questioned myself that are u really meant for me or am i just dreaming?

many people out there are better than me

why would u want this lousy guy?

i always think that

i scare

i don't know

i just scare

i love u called me

i love the way i hug u

i love the smell of u

i love the kiss

i love u scold me *pai chi*

i love u 

19/4/2011

at this hour

i should get some sleep

i need to wake up at 8am later today

but i can't sleep

my heart is missing you

my brain is full of your images

i am looking at the pictures we took

all the perfect pictures

all the sweet memories

i know you're sleeping soundly

and i am happy that you are sleep well

i can't really wait to see you again

i miss you

and i am trying my very best not to let my negative thinking to influence me

i wanted to achieve this time

i don't want just talk

i want my action to be acted

you always treat me good no matter how bad i did

this time

i will

i will make it different

18/4/2011

why i feel that u are not happy?

i know i did wrong

i know promises that i had made had not been fulfil

i know i always hurt u

saying things that shouldn't even think bout it

i know u are good

i know u treat me better than anyone else

but why?

why would i always think bout negative things about us?

bout our relationship?

is it i am not good to be your lover?

i used to think that our love will be forever

i will never leave u

nor u will leave me

(though u did not leave me yet)

but i feel like i might lose u

i am scare with this feeling

i scare of losing u

why?

i did asked myself

and the answer

I LOVE YOU

i realized how much u meant to me

how much we spent our time together

where we had been, what we did, what we had ate, what we had watched

every time before i sleep

i think bout all the memories that we had

even though

we had a lot of arguments

but we have our good and sweet memories too

what i want

i just want u

what u want or where u want to go

u just let me know

i will let u free like a bird

i love you

LJMU

LJMU

i had a discussion with my dad on this

he said he might able to support me to go for LJMU

i really want to have "double degree"

RM30000

T^T

怕安静

i am scare of losing you.

i am scare you don't want me.

i love you.

i know you know that i love you and i know you love me too.

but

all the words that you told me

"future, no one knows", "maybe something might change", "don't think bout the future"

all these make me scare.

i don't want to lose you.

i am used to being with you.

i scare you might not want me anymore.

all my weaknesses.

i scare you might look for a better one.

coz a lot more better people compare to me out there.

i don't think i am good.

and to me you are good.

i do believe that a lot people will like you because you are good.

i save all the SMS that you sent to me.

it always make me feel touch.

especially those SMS you said you love me.

these few weeks, we had fights.

i always hate myself for fighting with you on silly matters.

i know you won't do things that can hurt me.

i do believe you won't.

but sometimes, my brain just keep play the trick on me.

always distorting my thinking.

and i am sorry for that.

apologise is not something new to you nor to me.

i always apologise because all the stupid mistakes i did.

i know i am kinda annoying.

but i never want to stop telling you that i love you.

coz i don't want waste one minute of not telling you how much i love you.

actually i scare that you will leave me one day.

i know that will come.

i am wishing it won't comes.

T^T

2/2/2011 1034

suddenly feel so emo

><

maybe i am too sensitive

i don't know

i was online and i saw u

but suddenly u just offline

maybe i just too sensitive

i keep thinking why would u offline after i online not even for 5 minutes

suddenly all the thoughts came to me

negative thoughts

*think of*

the messages that u received from others

the things u might doing without i am knowing

feel like i am going to crazy

heart said believe

head said the other thing

confuse

if u want to break

u can let me know

i won't stop it anymore

someone said :

to love is to let go

if u wanted to go, i will

though i will drop my tears

yet i promise i won't do anything more than that

haih